Transformation

12:30 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
It seems almost dream like the past several years.
    Someone once told me I was looking for something or someone, it seems he may have been right. Although I admit that he might have been right, I see now that he didn't have a clue, as nor did I.  Somewhere along the road I became lost, a loss of self. For those who don't not understand, it may very well be because you haven't walked in my shoes nor lived my life.
 It turns out that I have always been looking for someone. Now, don't be one of those who say, you just didn't have faith...because if it wasn't for my faith I would have never survived my childhood, teen years and certainly not to live as long as I have. Faith is personal, personalized to that persons understanding of a loving Creator, Supreme Being, God and or Goddess.
  What I found was that I was looking for me, who I am, what I am, my purpose in life, and the pure beauty of all life.
  I now understand, what I am, a am a person with talents and gifts from the Creator. I am a person who really cares about people, has true feelings for others. I see all the beauty that life has in store for us.Sometimes, I can share through words, through photographs and/or through crafted items that I have created, which reflect beauty that is all around us each and every day. My purpose in life is to allow Creator to work through me, to be a good individual, to walk a good path and be me. The real me, not the one hiding behind someone else, nor the one who uses past transgressions as a shield,nor allows the thoughts of others to detour my course, and not to allow negative thoughts and feelings to become an anchor, ball and chain, or a box that I can not break free from.
 I have been feeling the need to write to share, yet the time had not seemed to be right until a few days ago. When I realized that I had allowed someone else's thoughts and feelings about a writing of mine become that anchor, that ball and chain, that major obstacle.
 Whatever roads I have walked, the pains that I have felt, the joys that I have shared my life walk has been a beautiful journey its self. To self, which allows more of me to open up, be available for Creator to enter and share what I have been asked to do.
 This part of the life walk that I had just completed, started many years ago, when I allowed myself to stop having a voice. Stopped having compassion for my partner in my marriage. Stopped being supportive. I used to blame it all on the job he hated and it wasn't until this passed month, when we were camped at Spider Rock campground that the blinders were removed.  To the Elder who may one day read this, Thank You! I did not learn your name, I received the message just the same.
 Hind sight, I should have known...
 Spider...
 Spider Rock...
 Spiders everywhere I looked, I believe that is a sign for me to weave my words to share; to weave my designs into art and to share my beliefs. With hope that all will find their peaceful mind, their loving heart and soaring soul.
 ~Lesa

Dear Mom

11:40 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
It has been 7 years since your passing, Mother's day once again around the corner. So much has changed and in some ways stayed the same. Same difficulties with some of the same people, still battling myself in areas of my life, and learning what you have always said., " Lesa, some people you just have to keep at arms length".
There are so many things that you taught me, whether or not, you thought I ever did. (SMILE) I have finally learned to be responsible for my actions (ha ha ha, have you fallen on the floor yet?). I have learned to appreciate the simpler things in life, like a day gardening in the yard, not having to be on the go all the time, keeping myself busy. I guess that it because I am truly happy with my life.
Oh, I have questions I had wished I had asked when you were here in the planet about our family, your life as a child and the name of the cat that was raised with Cindi the black cocker spaniel.
Most of all I wish to say, I love you Mom and I miss you very much! Yet, I know that you are in a very wonderful place, a place of peace. That makes my heart like with joy for you.

As I reflect I see that this year will be the first year in 7 that I will have both boys around, what a special gift...the first year friends thought I should be at Rendezvous for Mother's day, that turned out not to be such a great idea on so many different levels. Rendezvous was great, but I wasn't. That next year Christopher was in Georgia or on his way to Iraq, and the years have kind of jumbled together from there.
A special thank you for keep an eye on Christopher from above. Thank you!
It is much to say thanks for and I am lucky enough to have my boys who don't need Mother's day to do something special for their mom...for they say "Mom's should be thanked everyday, not just on "Mother's Day".
The little thank you's that happen everyday, means a lot, not just for me, but to everyone in everyday life.
I love you Mom~

Success and Prosperity

6:18 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Having an open mind is only part of the equation for success and prosperity in all areas of your life. An open heart, willingness to accept that you are a good person and that you are worthy of love, light, happiness, success and prosperity in all levels/aspects in your life is another part of the equation. 

~Lesa Beliakoff-Bielman