Relaxing and Enjoying Life
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For the past several years I have tortured myself with caring about people that are full of hate, anger and who are have been down right negative towards myself and my family. Basically, they could care less. For when I was going through a similar experience of a recent one of theirs, with the exception of 1 or 2 the rest were nowhere to be found. I am not stating this out of any anger, resentment nor any other reason except from a point of observation.
What I find most ironic is how I have been told that I am spoiled and selfish. Yes, I have been spoiled with the love of a great man for me; selfish....maybe but, I an rather happy, which is much better than playing the part of a martyr, which is really a very selfish form of a controlling person who is miserable.
Where did all of this come from you ask? For simply sharing a photograph with a family member. I did not share for me, I shared it for the family member. Talk about being selfish, not sharing is selfish.
Well, I have decided to make a huge change, I have made a conscious decision to no longer care, I don't need them, further more, I no longer desire to have this type of person or persons in my life.
I have walked though all the questions thrown at me, I have stood by my husband 100% and I would not change that for the world. I have walked a life filled with so much abuse I became some what addicted to it, the only difference was it came from outside my immediate family ( husband & kids). It was emotional, psychological and all about control. From what I have learned only insecure people can not share and feel the need to control everything; from my personal experience this type of insecurity is always worried about appearances, thankfully I am aware of that and my personal demon gets smaller and smaller every month or so.
All those lies, insults and anger will eat at anyone flinging them in our direction. Those who participate in those type of action will eventually have to answer to their maker for such actions, just as will for my actions. I have asked for forgiveness, making necessary changes not to participate in actions which have prompted having to ask for any more forgiveness.
I am standing strong, holding true to my beliefs and confident in my convictions. Maybe even more so now.
Moving on to enjoy my life, the one I share with my best friend, my sons, family some by blood and many others who are not, yet family just the same!
Looking forward to our bright new future free to be who we are.
What I find most ironic is how I have been told that I am spoiled and selfish. Yes, I have been spoiled with the love of a great man for me; selfish....maybe but, I an rather happy, which is much better than playing the part of a martyr, which is really a very selfish form of a controlling person who is miserable.
Where did all of this come from you ask? For simply sharing a photograph with a family member. I did not share for me, I shared it for the family member. Talk about being selfish, not sharing is selfish.
Well, I have decided to make a huge change, I have made a conscious decision to no longer care, I don't need them, further more, I no longer desire to have this type of person or persons in my life.
I have walked though all the questions thrown at me, I have stood by my husband 100% and I would not change that for the world. I have walked a life filled with so much abuse I became some what addicted to it, the only difference was it came from outside my immediate family ( husband & kids). It was emotional, psychological and all about control. From what I have learned only insecure people can not share and feel the need to control everything; from my personal experience this type of insecurity is always worried about appearances, thankfully I am aware of that and my personal demon gets smaller and smaller every month or so.
All those lies, insults and anger will eat at anyone flinging them in our direction. Those who participate in those type of action will eventually have to answer to their maker for such actions, just as will for my actions. I have asked for forgiveness, making necessary changes not to participate in actions which have prompted having to ask for any more forgiveness.
I am standing strong, holding true to my beliefs and confident in my convictions. Maybe even more so now.
Moving on to enjoy my life, the one I share with my best friend, my sons, family some by blood and many others who are not, yet family just the same!
Looking forward to our bright new future free to be who we are.
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