Reflections
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I cared very much about my mother when she died, yet it came down to money. My mother was cremated, it had never been discussed prior to her death. I choose from by following the patterns of the majority of my mother's immediate family and cost effectiveness.
We brought our own container in which to place her ashes, we choose the cardboard box rather than the more expensive pine box. All in all, it still was a price out of our range. We borrowed the money to take care of what had to be done until we could sell some of her possessions.
My mother was in great debt even prior to her illness,it was a huge challenge to say the least.
When it came to giving her a funeral or memorial, again to do so in what has become an expected way, would have cost us more of what we did not have at that time.
Through the help and guidance of many a dear friend we came up with a plan. We picked my mother's favorite place to spend time. It happened to be a park that had a stream with ducks, an annual pow-wow that she loved to attend, great times with old friend, family, and lots of trees.
I got word to family and friends, I gathered up photo albums, some subs from a local deli, some beverages, and paper goods. We sat at picnic tables under the trees and shared.
There was no clergy, no official to over see. There was an out pouring of love, remembrances and support. Not many attended and that was good, for I knew there were those such as my husband who do not have it in them to attend such gatherings.
I was adopted by my Sister Dee, her husband Del and her family, a honor I will always treasure.
The service or ceremony if you will, ended with myself, my niece Chey, and my nephew Kota walking the streams barefoot and laughing. A wonderful way to end the day!
I have never regretted this day nor the way we choose to celebrate my mother's life.
In today's world it seems that there is a status associated everything. How much we spend on gifts, how much we spend on homes, how much we spend on clothing, baby showers, weddings, even memorials and funerals.
There is a notion that one must spend lots of money, for then in some circles it states how much you care about a person.
We brought our own container in which to place her ashes, we choose the cardboard box rather than the more expensive pine box. All in all, it still was a price out of our range. We borrowed the money to take care of what had to be done until we could sell some of her possessions.
My mother was in great debt even prior to her illness,it was a huge challenge to say the least.
When it came to giving her a funeral or memorial, again to do so in what has become an expected way, would have cost us more of what we did not have at that time.
Through the help and guidance of many a dear friend we came up with a plan. We picked my mother's favorite place to spend time. It happened to be a park that had a stream with ducks, an annual pow-wow that she loved to attend, great times with old friend, family, and lots of trees.
I got word to family and friends, I gathered up photo albums, some subs from a local deli, some beverages, and paper goods. We sat at picnic tables under the trees and shared.
There was no clergy, no official to over see. There was an out pouring of love, remembrances and support. Not many attended and that was good, for I knew there were those such as my husband who do not have it in them to attend such gatherings.
I was adopted by my Sister Dee, her husband Del and her family, a honor I will always treasure.
The service or ceremony if you will, ended with myself, my niece Chey, and my nephew Kota walking the streams barefoot and laughing. A wonderful way to end the day!
I have never regretted this day nor the way we choose to celebrate my mother's life.
In today's world it seems that there is a status associated everything. How much we spend on gifts, how much we spend on homes, how much we spend on clothing, baby showers, weddings, even memorials and funerals.
There is a notion that one must spend lots of money, for then in some circles it states how much you care about a person.
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