Random Thoughts

It has been 7 years since your passing, Mother's day once again around the corner. So much has changed and in some ways stayed the same. Same difficulties with some of the same people, still battling myself in areas of my life, and learning what you have always said., " Lesa, some people you just have to keep at arms length".
There are so many things that you taught me, whether or not, you thought I ever did. (SMILE) I have finally learned to be responsible for my actions (ha ha ha, have you fallen on the floor yet?). I have learned to appreciate the simpler things in life, like a day gardening in the yard, not having to be on the go all the time, keeping myself busy. I guess that it because I am truly happy with my life.
Oh, I have questions I had wished I had asked when you were here in the planet about our family, your life as a child and the name of the cat that was raised with Cindi the black cocker spaniel.
Most of all I wish to say, I love you Mom and I miss you very much! Yet, I know that you are in a very wonderful place, a place of peace. That makes my heart like with joy for you.

As I reflect I see that this year will be the first year in 7 that I will have both boys around, what a special gift...the first year friends thought I should be at Rendezvous for Mother's day, that turned out not to be such a great idea on so many different levels. Rendezvous was great, but I wasn't. That next year Christopher was in Georgia or on his way to Iraq, and the years have kind of jumbled together from there.
A special thank you for keep an eye on Christopher from above. Thank you!
It is much to say thanks for and I am lucky enough to have my boys who don't need Mother's day to do something special for their mom...for they say "Mom's should be thanked everyday, not just on "Mother's Day".
The little thank you's that happen everyday, means a lot, not just for me, but to everyone in everyday life.
I love you Mom~

Having an open mind is only part of the equation for success and prosperity in all areas of your life. An open heart, willingness to accept that you are a good person and that you are worthy of love, light, happiness, success and prosperity in all levels/aspects in your life is another part of the equation. 

~Lesa Beliakoff-Bielman

This is my place to share my thoughts however random with freedom to express myself in full, some might say to fully.
 Most of those who have known me most of my life know of my "Daddy-Glen" and have just figured that he was my father. Well, he was, for he was always there, not always in a positive fashion, which I choose not to discuss. You will read into it what you will and what you suspect is probably correct. That being said, I would like to share with you what Daddy Glen taught me,
 He taught me to work on cars, ride motorcycles, drive tractors and road-graders. He taught me how to start responsible fires (he was a fireman), for burning weeds and debris. He was active in my learning to swim, water-ski and fly. He never said "Girls can't do that!". He usually said, "here let me explain how to do that"," let me show you how", and "I think you can do it, just give it your best". Most of all he encouraged my freedom of speech, although I think he wished he hadn't after allowing that for, I being the rebel that I am, always had a different view point that he rarely liked, agreed with and some times darn right hated, what I had to say.
 He read, 10 or more books in a week, in fact he is the one person that taught me schooling isn't everything. He was raised during the depression and had to quit school in the 8th grade, but you really would never know it unless you saw the way he would spell boat (bote). He also believed that education was all around you, you just had to see it, experience it and apply it. One of his most amazing talents was spotting tools on the freeway, and stopping in time to gather them (though I am sure, he would not recommend that type of action on today's freeways).
 Most of all he was a story teller. Sometimes fanciful, sometimes prophetic. He used to ask me do you know why "Rice Road" was named rice, I said no. And he would be off. He told me that the road people had run out of concrete, asphalt, gravel, dirt, and sand. All they had left to make the road was rice.
 Every time we ventured through Yucca Valley and 29 Palms he would say that the saber tooth tiger was still chasing the giant tortoise, but that he tortoise was still ahead, he went on to say that he has only seem them move 5 inches in the past 25 years. Fun stories, and it's no wonder that he got the name of "Whooper Kelly"
 Prophetic, in that he once said that we would become a cashless society, to which we are very close today. That if we were not careful in who we voted for and on, we would have all of our freedoms taken away. not too much of a stretch to see that today. That the government would issue us all numbers and that if we didn't have a number, we would not be known. Funny, I have in my possession, 2 Social Security Cards that read, not for identification purposes imprinted on them. Yet today, you must have a Social Security Card.
 It seems that he had more wisdom than time to share.
 If he could remember who I was, I would love to sit down and share with him how much he taught me about the world. How much I apprecatie the freedom of speech that he allowed he and how, some how, he often protected me, when he could from my mothers wrath and fists.
 Thank you Daddy Glen, Glen Whopper Kelly! Thank you for being my dad.

Ldb (JB)

 It wasn't until April 18th, 2003 that I came to know my sister. I had however, spoken with her once on the phone during the last days of my mother's life.
 It was due to this so-called friend that my mother had, Magdalene, that my mom and sister even met. Magdalene was always butting in to things that were none of her business. This time, I will not only forgive her but honor her for the joy it ultimately brought my mother and myself.  Thank you Maggie, wherever you are!
 You see in my mother's last several months here, she had chosen not to share with me what was really happening to her. She was nearly homeless, living with out electricity, heat and often food. My sister, helped her with food, helped her with obtaining utilities, and brought her love, friendship and some joy with sis's grand children.
 My mother had just passed , myself, Shaun & the boys were left with the task of cleaning up. It saddens me to know that my mother, towards the end, thought so little of herself, that she had felt so hopeless and lost.
  I called my sister, when I mustered up the courage (a childhood thing that I am still working on), and shared of my mothers passing. After the first of many kind words, we then continued to talk briefly, before hanging up, she asked when were we headed back to my mothers place. She responded ok, we'll see you there.
 That day came and when we arrived, there was my sister, her husband, and grandson. We greeted each other and she gave me the biggest warmest hug! Which I will never forget.
 This family, worked side by side with us and another friend, for the better part of three longs days. Refusing to accept even the most modest of gifts in an attempt to share our appreciation.That last afternoon that we worked to finish cleaning up, her granddaughter had made me a card, which I treasure to this day. Which shared with me that I would always be her family. The sharing of this wonderful family hasn't stopped yet.
 Within the next several weeks, my sister led me to a place of healing, comfort and family, ironically to my roots of my heritage. She helped me walk when I felt so lost, in strange ways very alone, alone for that female connection that on a physical plane was gone.
 This family had only known my mother for a few short months, yet it felt like a lifetime. During my mother's memorial at a park she loved, I had only a few close family there; at first I was angry, then I was sad and one more time so alone. I was so happy when I turned to see my Sister and her family, comforted in ways that I don't think I can find the exact words to express. The memorial was small, short and sweet, I had learned much that I had not known about my mother and her love for myself and my children.
 It couldn't be because we were both to stubborn to hear the other one talk (smile)?
 Afterward, the kids and I took off our shoes, wading in the creek at the park, playing with the ducks.
It was there and then that I was adopted my this woman and her family, it was then that she announced to everyone there that I had lost a mother by gained a sister.
 Oh life isn't always smooth sailing within families (as if you didn't already know that), but she is there whether she is mad, sad or happy with me. Whenever I reach out, she is there.
 What I can share with her in return is my love, loyal, undying, unconditional love as she has shared with me.
 Sadly, it wasn't but 7 months later that she too lost her mother. I wasn't as helpful (at least I feel that way) as she was to me during my time of need, never the less, I tired hard.
 I strive everyday, to be available to her and family, to the best of by ability. She has become my biggest fan, my strongest promoter and one of my greatest teachers so-to-speak in this path of my life. It is with great difficulty that I resist the urge to put her on a pedestal.
 Adore her, admire her, love her, disagree with her,YES!  I hope to never put her on a pedestal.
 I love you Sis! Thank you!
  ldb

I have been pondering and weighting the information of facts and ideas, only to come to one conclusion.
 Yes, global warming is a truth, but not in the "crisis, panic or hysterical" which so many in the media portray.
 The fact of the matter is, that the earth has been warming since the last Ice Age; Truth, really. You see in my little ventures to the library to research genealogical information, more and more truths become clear.
 How many of you were alive, or do you remember the late 60's through to the mid 70's the cry was about global cooling, the coming Ice Age?. Don't believe me, well sit down at a microfiche machine at a local archive and begin to read.
 Scientifically, my mind says that there are so many things in play that are not being included in the great debate of this issue. You see our earth is so old and we only have recorded weather for such a short section of the earth's history it is really tough to be sure.
 What I have found in my research and investigation, of which I am not a professional, is that many of these scientists that concur a theory of global warming in their view are ironically funded by government grants. There are very few scientists, who are granted government grants, who disagree.
 Gee, I am not a genius, but if you receive this grant money for your employment and monetary needs, then suddenly it is proven that the earth warming isn't as dire as you have proclaimed... then wouldn't these funds dry up, therefore the funding gets cut and then you loose. Right?
 Too many logical people have forgotten that in December of 2004 an earthquake. with tsunami, which followed, in Indonesia changed the earths rotation and its axis. Remember the leap second, kind of like the leap year that happens every 4 years. I had never experienced a leap second before, had you?
 We also have a weakening of several magnetic fields, which happen cyclically, as per historical earth records recorded.
 There is the issue of the micro climates that have been created, like Palm Springs, CA, which is now dependent upon air conditioners verses the evaporative coolers that used to work well due to its natural dry climate. What happen you say? People built a few thousand golf courses, many houses with thousands of pools, thus creating a micro-climate with much more humidity than what was the norm.
 It would have been interesting to have been knowledgeable enough at the time, when California began digging for the huge Diamond Lake project and the Seven Oaks dam, to know what changes will and have occurred.
 Then there is that huge secret in China and the truth behind the 3 gorges dam. There are scientists which say that the weight of the water alone behind that damn, can cause not only added earthquakes to the area, but could again, change the earth's axis and rotation yet, again.
 One thing is for sure, our planet is a living thing some call "Mother" and that she is in a constant state of change. Yet, in all our so-called effort to help her are we?
 What we have done is create a irresponsible society, we buy everything disposable from diapers to mops. Back when I was a kid we used a regular mop, rags and handkerchiefs. I do believe that we should recycle, why not? We pay for it anyway,I will make the most of it.  I recycle cans, plastic, paper and give my glass to a person who is willing to recycle that.
 For the most part, I do not throw my vegetable matter in the trash can, it goes into my garden area to be dug in, along with the leaves that fall off my trees. I am not saying that I am not wasteful, because I am. There are times and places that disposable is the softer, easier way.
 What about your choice in light bulbs? Florescent will help with the use of electricity, but did you know that they contain mercury which IS very harmful to the planet. We switched to LED s, they use little to no electricity (easy on our budget); you will have to look hard for them but the are out there.
 If this has done nothing more, I hope that it has caused you to read, investigate for your self and to think.
~ldb