What in Earth do I do?
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Much more than those who "think" they know me, just might think!
It seems, that I am asked that question often.
It seems, that I am asked that question often.
Well, let me see...I guess you would say that I am in a traditional role as a wife, mother and domestic engineer. Yes, domestic engineer, for I did not marry the house, fact is I despise housework, I would rather be outside in the yard.Yes, being in this role is my childhood dream come true. If that hadn't paned out, I don't know who, or what role I would be in. That was a huge problem for me, for I never had a clear cut picture of "what career" I desired.I just don't know. After getting married, I continued to work outside the home, even until our second child was born, then it came down to financial common sense. It doesn't make sense to have to pay from 2 paychecks to cover the babysitter. Reluctantly, I agree to say home, I was scared to death. At first, I became so neurotic about keeping the house clean, that I would actually pick things up before you were done with them.
Thankfully, along came some divine guidance.I volunteered at the pre-school where the boys attended, once in they were in regular school, I volunteered at the school. The whole room mother, PTA, school site council, school board meetings and even some curriculum committees, ~thing. you could say I tend to jump in with both feet.During this time, I was able to continue with my spiritual growth through various avenues. Spiritual teachings, living history re-enactments, seeking the history of my family, connecting with that history (California Indian) and eventually through various arts.Through some of these paths, I was led to volunteer at local convalescent and retirement homes, to find more of a balance, for I had worked with the young, and now I wanted , needed to help the elderly. This led to some part-time employment as a housekeeper and a gardener for several people that I knew. Along the way at a Mountain Man Rendezvous I met this wonderful woman who introduced me to my other passion, Middle Eastern dance. Talk about conflict, following the red road, the Mt. Man path, modern and this culture of middle eastern influence; yet, I was able to find the commonalities in them all. Basically they all were about giving back, sharing and team work/support of each other. Time passed, things changed along the way, I eventually felt the need to find a full time position, for I was on very shaking ground on almost every level. You see, even though I did not have a great relationship with my mother I was very connected with her. I lost my mother in April, later that year I kind of, lost my son in August (he enlisted in the Army). I had all this stuff going on inside and didn't know what to do with it. Thankfully, my Sister Dee and her family helped with what they could. I am eternally grateful for them introducing me to ceremony, the healing places of the Bear and sweat-lodge. True I had attended one sweat-lodge prior, but this was a healing sweat that did not have any barriers.**Please note, that I have a mind much like a roulette wheel, were ever the ball lands while writing or talking is what I write or talk about.**So in the course of my path thus far, I have been fortunate enough to have had many of the childhood dreams come true...Ought O!This is where my kind of, girlie side shows.I wanted to be an actress or on television at one time, I even did a few plays and then decided that path was not for me. Well as life would have it, Shaun, myself and the boys have been on television a few times because of our involvement with the Mountain Men Rendezvous re-enactments.At one time I thought of modeling maybe my hands & eyes, for I was always being complimented on them all through school. Even Jeff the school eye model encouraged me to have some photos taken, but to no avail, too shy, no self-esteem. Then this woman (Agnes) who introduced me to Middle-Eastern dance wanted me to model for a painting or two...Still way too shy, pretty much the same self-esteem level.Again as life would have it, Middle Eastern dance led me to a modeling gig, I can be seen on the cover of "The Gathering Season" by Solace.Which ironically led me to fulfilling my dream of making music, through dance I discovered how to play drums,the doumbek.
When I think back even as I kid I was beating my hands on things most of the time in time with the music, some of my favorite musical compositions were those of heavy drums. Next thing I knew the troupe that I danced with was asked to perform on Solace's next album. So you can hear our voices noticeably on "The Blessing" on Solace's album "Ahsas"; we were also making other background jingles within the album. Some members of the troupe' lent their vocals throughout the album.I guess I forgot to mention that I had always wanted to dance...
I LOVE TO DANCE...The Middle Eastern Dancing led to joining a dance troupe titled "Yogini Kundalini", we performed through out the south land in Southern California for a few years.Eventually, all good things come to an end, but not before many of our troupe members wrote quotes for a book titled "Tribal Bible by Kajira Djoumahna", as seen in Chapter 10.In January 2008 Shaun, Timothy and myself were in a very serious car collision, which changed my life once again. We came to believe that we had stuff we needed to do still in this life, for there were far too many things that only a divine interference could have saved us.I understand that some people may be tired of listening to the reference of "the accident", but it did change my life.In a strange way, even through I still sometimes feel panic moments while riding with people a vehicle, it has also made me stronger. It has strengthen my self-esteem and once again showed me that life is too darn short. That it is important to share with those you love, tell them that you love them!
Enjoy every minute you have together. Mostly, not to waste time on those who truly don't care about you.I ended up giving up the full time position (not a great one to be truthful), back to being at home, following another passion, working with stones and beads. Helping others, for I really enjoy that. Attending courses for web site design, volunteering with genealogical research and the photography of markers in cemeteries.
Yes, I know I am weird!When the time is right I will be immersed in the pow-wow scene helping with what I can to help make it a joyous and successful gathering, event.There are days, that I just vegetate, there are days that you couldn't catch me no matter how hard you try, it just the way my life is. I for one, love it!I have written for those who would like to get to know me more, those who want to catch up and for those who thought they were "in the know".
(ldb)
Thankfully, along came some divine guidance.I volunteered at the pre-school where the boys attended, once in they were in regular school, I volunteered at the school. The whole room mother, PTA, school site council, school board meetings and even some curriculum committees, ~thing. you could say I tend to jump in with both feet.During this time, I was able to continue with my spiritual growth through various avenues. Spiritual teachings, living history re-enactments, seeking the history of my family, connecting with that history (California Indian) and eventually through various arts.Through some of these paths, I was led to volunteer at local convalescent and retirement homes, to find more of a balance, for I had worked with the young, and now I wanted , needed to help the elderly. This led to some part-time employment as a housekeeper and a gardener for several people that I knew. Along the way at a Mountain Man Rendezvous I met this wonderful woman who introduced me to my other passion, Middle Eastern dance. Talk about conflict, following the red road, the Mt. Man path, modern and this culture of middle eastern influence; yet, I was able to find the commonalities in them all. Basically they all were about giving back, sharing and team work/support of each other. Time passed, things changed along the way, I eventually felt the need to find a full time position, for I was on very shaking ground on almost every level. You see, even though I did not have a great relationship with my mother I was very connected with her. I lost my mother in April, later that year I kind of, lost my son in August (he enlisted in the Army). I had all this stuff going on inside and didn't know what to do with it. Thankfully, my Sister Dee and her family helped with what they could. I am eternally grateful for them introducing me to ceremony, the healing places of the Bear and sweat-lodge. True I had attended one sweat-lodge prior, but this was a healing sweat that did not have any barriers.**Please note, that I have a mind much like a roulette wheel, were ever the ball lands while writing or talking is what I write or talk about.**So in the course of my path thus far, I have been fortunate enough to have had many of the childhood dreams come true...Ought O!This is where my kind of, girlie side shows.I wanted to be an actress or on television at one time, I even did a few plays and then decided that path was not for me. Well as life would have it, Shaun, myself and the boys have been on television a few times because of our involvement with the Mountain Men Rendezvous re-enactments.At one time I thought of modeling maybe my hands & eyes, for I was always being complimented on them all through school. Even Jeff the school eye model encouraged me to have some photos taken, but to no avail, too shy, no self-esteem. Then this woman (Agnes) who introduced me to Middle-Eastern dance wanted me to model for a painting or two...Still way too shy, pretty much the same self-esteem level.Again as life would have it, Middle Eastern dance led me to a modeling gig, I can be seen on the cover of "The Gathering Season" by Solace.Which ironically led me to fulfilling my dream of making music, through dance I discovered how to play drums,the doumbek.
When I think back even as I kid I was beating my hands on things most of the time in time with the music, some of my favorite musical compositions were those of heavy drums. Next thing I knew the troupe that I danced with was asked to perform on Solace's next album. So you can hear our voices noticeably on "The Blessing" on Solace's album "Ahsas"; we were also making other background jingles within the album. Some members of the troupe' lent their vocals throughout the album.I guess I forgot to mention that I had always wanted to dance...
I LOVE TO DANCE...The Middle Eastern Dancing led to joining a dance troupe titled "Yogini Kundalini", we performed through out the south land in Southern California for a few years.Eventually, all good things come to an end, but not before many of our troupe members wrote quotes for a book titled "Tribal Bible by Kajira Djoumahna", as seen in Chapter 10.In January 2008 Shaun, Timothy and myself were in a very serious car collision, which changed my life once again. We came to believe that we had stuff we needed to do still in this life, for there were far too many things that only a divine interference could have saved us.I understand that some people may be tired of listening to the reference of "the accident", but it did change my life.In a strange way, even through I still sometimes feel panic moments while riding with people a vehicle, it has also made me stronger. It has strengthen my self-esteem and once again showed me that life is too darn short. That it is important to share with those you love, tell them that you love them!
Enjoy every minute you have together. Mostly, not to waste time on those who truly don't care about you.I ended up giving up the full time position (not a great one to be truthful), back to being at home, following another passion, working with stones and beads. Helping others, for I really enjoy that. Attending courses for web site design, volunteering with genealogical research and the photography of markers in cemeteries.
Yes, I know I am weird!When the time is right I will be immersed in the pow-wow scene helping with what I can to help make it a joyous and successful gathering, event.There are days, that I just vegetate, there are days that you couldn't catch me no matter how hard you try, it just the way my life is. I for one, love it!I have written for those who would like to get to know me more, those who want to catch up and for those who thought they were "in the know".
(ldb)
